Two Songs

Casting Crowns has been my favourite band for a long time. I have all of their (original - not live) CDs and was most disappointed when they came to South Africa but missed my city. Possibly my favourite CD of theirs is The Altar and the Door, though honestly, it is hard to choose.

I was thinking about yesterday's post, and realised that I am in the position described by their song "Somewhere in the Middle". For copyright purposes I shan't quote the whole song, but below are some relevant lines:

Somewhere between who I was and who you're making me...
Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans...
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You’ll find me...

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control?

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences,
The God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle?

And it seems that that is exactly where I am. I know what I should do, but my own will is resisting it. The last two lines give the answer I need:

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You’re by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I’m caught in the middle

You can find the lyrics to the whole song here 

There's another song that's been going around in my head during this time. It's from Ocean Eyes by Owl City, whom I recently discovered. I only have this one of his CDs, but I enjoy listening to it very much. The words I keep thinking are from the last song on the CD, "Tidal Wave".

I forget the last time I felt brave
I just recall insecurity
’Cause it came down like a tidal wave
And sorrow swept over me
Then I was given grace and love
I was blind but now I can see
’Cause I found a new hope from above
And courage swept over me

It hurts just to wake up whenever you’re wearing thin
Alone on the outside, so tired of looking in
The end is uncertain and I’ve never been so afraid
But I don’t need a telescope to see that there’s hope and that makes me feel brave 

You can find the lyrics to the whole song here

There's something about music, that encourages and uplifts the soul - Casting Crowns and Owl City both have a gift for song writing - a way with language which expresses truths accurately. These two songs remind me that I'm not alone in what I'm going through. Many others go through the exact same thoughts and feelings. Even other Christians, who to all appearances are successful and prosperous musicians, go through the same kind of struggles and doubts. I'm not alone - and that makes be feel brave.